Who Am I?

I wrote this in my car at the Marion Public Library on September 11, 2012, at 7 pm.

Since I spend A LOT of time waiting for Micah at her various extra-curricular activities, I've decided to use some of that time to attempt understanding this season of my life.  I'm struggling to re-invent who I am, or possibly re-discover who I used to be.

Learning to let go of my children has been a painful process, somewhat similar to the stages of dying:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  I seem to go back and forth between anger and depression most of the time.   However, my goal is to come to the point where I am able to accept that God is in control, and that He can work out this change for good also.  He is really the one who has taken care of my kids all these years anyway, not me.  I think He can handle it from here much better than I can. He doesn't ever grow weary.



Who Am I?


Fading fast -
Not going to last.

Needing hope -
Can't seem to cope.

Losing touch -
I miss so much.

Reaching out
So full of doubt.

Feeling pain -
There's so much strain.

I want to dance -
Give life a chance.

I want to sing -
Praise to the King.

I want to see -
Your will for me.

I want to try -
Before I die.

The time is now -
I don't know how.

I need strength and dignity -
To just be me...