Tuesday, September 25, 2012

My Treasure


This was written on 9-24-12 at Dancer's Edge in Hiawatha, IA, after visiting one of my high school classmates last weekend.  I came away feeling like a failure until I remembered that I need to store up treasures in heaven.   

My Treasure

As you're looking down on me
From that high and lofty tower,
With your fame and hard-earned fortune 
And all your worldly power;

Don't pity me or be distressed
For what I might have been,
Or for the path I've chosen
To travel way back then.

I'm saddened that you'll never know
Priceless moments that you've missed...
First steps, first words, sweet baby smiles,
Hurts someone else has kissed.

Your house is filled with portraits,
Winning trophies everywhere.
Successes etched in marble,
But you were never there.

I don't need to carry photos - 
Memories play a special part.
This family is my treasure
Engraved forever on my heart.






Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Who Am I?

I wrote this in my car at the Marion Public Library on September 11, 2012, at 7 pm.

Since I spend A LOT of time waiting for Micah at her various extra-curricular activities, I've decided to use some of that time to attempt understanding this season of my life.  I'm struggling to re-invent who I am, or possibly re-discover who I used to be.

Learning to let go of my children has been a painful process, somewhat similar to the stages of dying:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  I seem to go back and forth between anger and depression most of the time.   However, my goal is to come to the point where I am able to accept that God is in control, and that He can work out this change for good also.  He is really the one who has taken care of my kids all these years anyway, not me.  I think He can handle it from here much better than I can. He doesn't ever grow weary.



Who Am I?


Fading fast -
Not going to last.

Needing hope -
Can't seem to cope.

Losing touch -
I miss so much.

Reaching out
So full of doubt.

Feeling pain -
There's so much strain.

I want to dance -
Give life a chance.

I want to sing -
Praise to the King.

I want to see -
Your will for me.

I want to try -
Before I die.

The time is now -
I don't know how.

I need strength and dignity -
To just be me...